My boyfriend who was diagnosed as bipolar II 2 years ago is finally (sort of) coming to terms with his condition-rather, he knows he needs help but I’m wondering about his level of commitment to fixing/treating it. He recently had a suicidal episode and has agreed to enroll in a 2 week, 6 hour a day outpatient program with therapy and medication regulation with my and his family’s duress. I am glad he is finally agreeing to take a big step and do something about it, but I’m starting to doubt in my own mind the level of commitment to it. He hasn’t started yet, so I suppose I should cut him slack up until he actually starts the program. The only problem is that there might not be a slot for him for 3-4 weeks or more, so in the meantime, he’s manic currently and not medicated properly (his hasn’t been working since october), still is using pot/alcohol heavily when he’s not at his parents house (he moved back 5/7 nights a week but is hitting the bottle hard otherwise), and still engaging in but not meeting with girls on the net (I think the saving grace is he has anxiety so that keeps him in check).He, along with the program, is getting a new doctor that will meet with him 2-3 times a week (versus the one that was seeing him once a month) outside of the prorgram/once it is finished, plus give him a more indepth evalutaion. He claims he wants things to work out between us which i believe, but the stress is taking its toll on me. Plus, I feel like if he wanted it to work somewhat, he’d be making more of an attempt to work on cutting out the negatives (again, maybe this isn’t fair unti he starts the program).

My question is do I let his current behavior slide b/c I know he’s ‘off’ currently, but seeking help in the near future, or do I let him go and let him get help, and come back to me when he’s ready, or do i just bow out at this point, as he’s getting help finally and I’ve played my role in getting him there? I really care about him and at one point thought there was a definite future which we discussed, but for the last few months I haven’t been so sure. Do I walk away permanently and throw in the towel right before the finish line so to speak, take a break from everything while he starts dealing with his condition, or let him come find me in a few months, or continue being supportive despite his behavior and words? I’m really struggling with this because while I think it will all help, I wonder if he’ll be seriously committed to it or not. If he’s not and nothing changes at all, I can’t be a part of his life-and that’s the choice he’s made; I’m just reacting to it at this point.

For anyone with bipolar and who was/is an out/inpatient, what did you want from your significant others/family while you were going through the process? Did the actually process help any?

Tagged with: back • Bipolar • come • hospitalizationdo • relationship • stick • Them

Filed under: Bipolar Disorder Relationships

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